I Don't Even Have to Think of a Clever Header...So There!

There's a lot I could say tonight. There's probably a lot I should say tonight. About Dawn of the Dreadfuls' stellar Booklist review. About its stellar Romantic Times review. About the dozens and dozens of stellar reviews it got this week from bloggers. About the new "Holmes on the Range" novel I just turned in. About the big changes on the way for this website.

But you know what? I am fried, people. I've been under the gun on one project or another for the past 18 months. And my breather's not going to last long, because...well, that's something else I could tell you about. I won't, though. Tonight is about me and a six pack of Fat Tire and Zombieland in my DVD player. Oh, and off-the-cuff Oscar predictions. Just because.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

Best Director: James Cameron

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges

Best Actress: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique

Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air

Best Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker

Best Animated Feature: Up

Best Documentary: The Cove

Best Art Direction: Avatar

Best Cinematography: Avatar

Best Costume Design: Nine

Best Editing: The Hurt Locker

Best Score: Up

Best Original Song: "Almost There" by Randy Newman

Best Short Film (Animated): Well, whadaya know? My apologies to all the aspiring animators out there. I just stopped caring.

Bonus for anyone who's read this far and has nothing to do: Plug your own predictions into the Comments dealie-do. If you do better than me, you'll get...oh, something fun. Sorry, I just stopped caring again.

Zombieland, here I come!

Steve Hockensmith
March 6, 2010

Portrait of the Artist as a Total Goober

Obviously, I've been a bit remiss about posting around here lately. Let's just call February my retroactive blogging sabbatical and leave it at that. But good news! Things were quiet because I was so busy making things happen, baby! Just wait until you hear what's coming up. You'll plotz. And that's a good thing.

It's a little too early for big announcements, though. So how about a teeny one? I have new head shots. Be still your beating heart, right? Hey, it's a sign of progress, people. You'll see. And I really needed them.

The last few years, alas, I've been doing a sort of reverse Dorian Gray thing: getting grayer and fleshier while my 8 x 10 glossy stayed exactly the same. Strange, eh? Apparently, it's called aging. I didn't think it applied to me, but lately I've been proven wrong.

So here you go -- five fab new glamor shots to choose from. Which should show up on the dust jacket of my next hardcover? You decide! (I don't really mean that, by the way. I'll decide. Or, more likely, I'll decide, and then the publisher will say, "Meh. Got anything else?")

Pre-emptive mockery. Because y'all are gonna give me all kinds of crap for this, right?

Here I am attempting to "make love to the camera." Seconds later, the camera slapped me and called the police.

Speaking of making love. You've heard of "tree huggers," right? Well, here I look like a tree f-.... O.K., in the interest of sparing us all nightmares, I'm not going to finish that thought.

Here I attempt to recreate -- from memory, mind you -- the author photo of the lovely and talented thriller writer Graham Brown. I don't think I quite pulled it off. It just looks like I didn't make it to the Port-a-John in time.

And finally (for now, anyway) -- you want zombies? I've got your zombies right here, pal.

 

Photos by Cecily Hunt. Over-the-top mugging by me.

Steve Hockensmith
March 2, 2010

Attention, Fellow Bloggers!

Hard up for things to blog about? I know I am. Just look at this lame excuse for a blog. No updates in almost three weeks? What's up with that?

Fortunately, the fine folks at Quirk Classics have saved me -- and perhaps you -- from blogger limbo by offering up something cool to write about. Our approaches will have to differ slightly, though. You see, I get to write about the free advance reader copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls that you might get if you contact Quirk pronto. Then, five or six weeks from now, you get to write about how much you looooooooooooooved the book. Yes, I get the instant gratification of adding to my blog today. But you'll get the free book, not to mention my eternal gratitude (or, if you haaaaaaaaaaaaaate the book, my eternal resentment). Click here for details.

But wait! There's more! Now that I'm back here in TypePadLand again, I realize I actually have other things I can tell you about. Did y'all know I'm in a new anthology of Sherlock Holmes stories? Well, I am! It's called Sherlock Holmes: The American Years, and it'll be out any day now. Some of you might be thinking, "Chuh? I bought that book, like, a year ago!" Nope. You're thinking of Sherlock Holmes in America, which I'm also in. That was a different book entirely. I think I'm the only writer who contributed to both, actually, so I guess I've successfully cornered the market on Holmes-goes-stateside anthologies. If some publisher announces Sherlock Holmes Solves Crimes Committed in the Continental United States or whatever, you know I'll be in it.

But wait! There's more! I'm also in the new antho Between the Dark and the Daylight and 27 More of the Best Crime and Mystery Stories of the Year. My contribution is the Big Red/Old Red adventure "The Devil's Acre." Given that I also appeared in The Widow of Slane and Six More of the Best Crime and Mystery Novellas of the Year, Wolf Woman Bay and Nine More of the Finest Crime and Mystery Novellas of the Year and Mystery Writers of America Presents Death Do Us Part: New Stories About Love, Lust and Murder, it looks like I'm cornering the market on books with more than 20 syllables in the title, as well.

But wait! There's...!

Oh. No, there's not.

Steve Hockensmith
January 29, 2010

P.S.: Originally, all the back-list links above went to Amazon.com, but this morning I changed them to other sites. You can find the explanation here. The upshot: As part of its ongoing drive to destroy the publishing industry with predatory pricing designed to move Kindles and bankrupt bricks-and-mortar bookstores, Amazon has stopped selling books from my publisher, St. Martin's Minotaur (which is owned by Macmillan). So, for the time being, the "Holmes on the Range" novels are no longer available to buy new via Amazon. I'm guessing this embargo will be lifted quickly, but who knows? In the meantime, all I can do as a wee teeny-weeny microscopic David getting squashed by this particular Goliath is raise up my wee teeny-weeny microscopic middle finger. How much will it hurt Amazon if a guy like me refuses to link to their site from now on? Oh, about this much. [Holds wee teeny-weeny microscopic fingers half a micron apart.] But, to quote an old Joe Jackson song, I'd like to think of it as another tiny blow against the evil empire.

P.P.S.: My books are available from Amazon.com again. I'm still pissed at Amazon, though.