Who are you?
I’m Steve Hockensmith. I write books and stuff.
Who's your agent?
My literary work is represented by the super-nice Josh Getzler at HSG Agency. My not-so-literary work is also represented by Josh Getzler at HSG. My complete-trash-potboiler-garbage is also represented by Josh, but I think he just throws that stuff away.
How can I contact you?
Shoot me an e-mail at reelcrime AT yahoo DOT com.
Do you have an e-mail newsletter?
Funny you should ask! I was just going to suggest you sign up for it. Go here to join my e-posse.
Can I follow you, too?
Excuse me? You mean like around town? That’s kind of a creepy thing to ask.
I meant on Twitter.
Oh. Sorry. Sure. I’m @MrHockensmith.
How about Facebook?
How about it?
[Exasperated sigh] Do you have a Facebook page?
Yeah! Right! Just search on “Steve Hockensmith,” and you’ll find me.
Are the film and television rights to your “Holmes on the Range” books still available?
Yup. I sold my everlasting soul to Satan and everything, and still a deal hasn't come through. I'm thinking of taking the devil to small claims court.
Will you be coming to my town anytime soon?
I don’t know. Where do you live?
I’m not real. I’m just a rhetorical device.
Got it. Well, if you were real and you wanted to know where I’ll be in the future, you could always check out the Steve’s Schedule page on this website.
You look familiar. Did you go to the University of Northern Iowa in the early ’90s?
You look familiar. Are you my Uncle Dan?
You look familiar. Are you Alan Ruck with a beard?
You look familiar. Are you -- ?
Where can I buy your books?
Any bookstore can order them for you. Go here to find your nearest independent bookseller. Or you can buy the books online at Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble or Powell’s, among other sites.
Is your hair supposed to look like that?
I’m tired. Can I stop asking questions now?
Sure. I’m tired, too.