I have a new book coming out. I hope you'll consider buying it.
That, for me, is "hard sell" marketing...at least in the sense that it's hard for me to sell. I like thinking about books, planning books, writing books, revising books. But promoting books? Not so much. Writers sometimes talk about the need for BSP: Blatant Self Promotion. For me it's ESP: Embarrassed Self Promotion. In fact, I'm really glad I don't have the other kind of ESP whenever I have to do some BSP. Reading someone's mind and discovering that they're thinking "Geez, will this guy ever shut up about his stupid book?" would make me feel like I'm full of BS.
Still, I should probably try to harden up my sell a little bit. How about this?
I have a new book coming out. I hope you'll consider buying it. It's the greatest novel ever written.
Too much? Well, how about this?
I have a new book coming out. I hope you'll consider buying it. It's a funny mystery. At least I tried to make it funny. So, you know...give it a shot, maybe. If you like that kind of thing.
Too wishy-washy and vague, you say? Alright, let's throw in some details.
I have a new book coming out. It's called Give the Devil His Due. I hope you'll consider buying it.
Still too vague? God, are you ever satisfied? O.K., let's get specific.
I have a new book coming out April 8. It's called Give the Devil His Due and it's the third novel in the "tarot mystery" series I do with tarot expert extraordinaire Lisa Falco. Library Journal says it's "diverting" (and who doesn't want to be diverted these days?) and "filled with eccentric protagonists and engaging banter." Publishers Weekly calls it "sprightly" (and who doesn't want more spright in their life these days?) and says it "keep[s] the surprises coming while maintaining a consistently humorous tone." And Kirkus Reviews seemed positive about it in an ambiguous, "We'll give you lots of plot synopsis and won't say anything negative so take that for a thumbs up if you want to" sort of way. ("It's every man, woman, and teen for himself as the authors uncork their third free-wheeling adventure" is probably the closest thing to a blurb to come out of their review. That feels kinda sorta enthusiastic, right?) It probably helps if you've already read the first two books in the series, but you can jump into this one and get up to speed pretty quickly. I'd toss in some plot synopsis, but that's hard to do without spoiling a big twist from the second book. Suffice it to say our hero, reformed con artist turned tarot reader Alanis McLachlan, gets pulled into a murder mystery when a shady figure from her past makes a surprising reappearance. Each book in the series uses part of the tarot deck as its theme -- it was the Major Arcana in book #1 and the suit of wands in book #2 -- and this time the focus is on the suit of cups. Every chapter begins with an interpretation of a specific card that in some way reflects what's about to happen. So by the time you've finished the book, we hope, you'll have picked up some tarot know-how. The original plan was to do a book for every suit of the tarot deck, but at the moment that's not in the cards (ba-da-bing!). It's a long story, but Give the Devil His Due is going to be the last book in the series for now. I knew there was a chance that would happen when I was writing it, so I made sure to wrap up any loose ends. No cliffhangers this time, guys! (Some readers were a bit miffed that I ended book #2 with a surprise and then took forever and a day to finish book #3. I even noticed that someone gave Give the Devil His Due a one-star review on Goodreads three months before I finished writing it. Who knows? Maybe she was using her tarot skills to divine that the book would suck. But couldn't she foresee all the diverting, free-wheeling spright?) Give the Devil His Due was a lot of fun to write, even though I was feeling guilty about how long it was taking me, and I hope we'll see Alanis again one day. Lisa and I still have two suits of the tarot to cover, and I'm super-anal about finishing things, so maybe we'll....
Hold on. My BSP ESP is kicking in. I'm getting a message.
Geez, will this guy ever shut up about his stupid book?
Back to the old drawing board.
I have a new book coming out. I hope you'll consider buying it. Um...please?