Steve Hockensmith's blog

Hammer Time!

You'll find a lot of talk on the Interwebs about the future of publishing, and it's pretty common to see the big New York publishers compared to antiquated tradesmen. They're buggy manufacturers in the age of the automobile or sail makers in the age of the steamboat or butter-churn upholsterers in the age of Country Crock.

Or they're blacksmiths -- you see that one a lot. But I'd like to hijack that analogy and apply it to myself. As a writer going it alone in the age of the ebook, I'm feeling sort of blacksmithy, you see. Things might have seemed kind of quiet around here -- my last novel came out more than a year ago -- but hark! Do you hear that? The slow, steady bang of metal hitting metal? That's me, alone in my little shop, pounding away at something until it feels just right. Meanwhile, I've got half a dozen irons in the fire. And a couple are finally warm enough to do something with.

Iron #1: I have a new short story collection out. It's called Blarney: 12 Tales of Lies, Crime & Mystery. Those of you who bought my ill-fated fundraising ebook My Dog Needs Surgery (and a heartfelt "Thanks!" to all 17 of you) will recognize a few of the stories. Ditto loyal readers from my days as a regular contributor to Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine. You can read a full description of the book -- including a rundown of all the stories in it -- here. It's available both as an ebook and an old-fashioned dead tree-book, so you have no excuse not to buy it. Well, except for "I don't want it," which is a pretty darned good excuse, actually. If your excuse is "I don't want to pay for it," that won't work -- because I'll give it to you. You'll have to earn it, though. Just go to the Amazon (preferably) or Barnes & Noble.com page for one of my earlier short story collections (Dear Mr. Holmes or Naughty), hit that silly, seemingly pointless "Like" button (if you're on Amazon) and then post a review. Do that, and I'll send you Blarney in the e-format of your choice. Oh, and I'll send you an e-copy of the book if you're a blogger who wants to review it, of course. Just shoot a request to the e-mail address you'll find here.

Iron #2: Speaking of Naughty (and I was just a moment ago -- remember?), it's not just an ebook anymore. It's finally available as a printed-on-paper book-book. And, boy, do I love the new cover! It was created by the mega-talented Rick Forgus of Atomic Werewolf Studio, and I think it's one of the best covers I've ever lucked into. If it inspires you to buy a copy of the book, you can do so here or here.

Irons #3-12: Sorry -- still not hot enough! But just listen.

Bang....

Bang....

Bang....

Bang.........

And We LIKED It That Way

I haven't told anyone to get off my lawn lately or subjected friends and family to long, graphic updates on my lumbago. So I think I've earned an old fart rant.

Don't worry. It's not about politics -- though, by cracky, I would love to give those skunks and scalawags in Washington a piece of my mind! Unfortunately, I need every piece of my mind I've got left. One less neuron, and I won't remember my own name, let alone where I left my wallet.

Good thing you don't need a brain to watch television -- it can really get in the way, in fact -- because that's the subject at hand. My premise: Back in the day, we didn't always get to watch what we wanted on TV...and that made it better!

If I could've programmed my own station when I was 10, it would've run Star Trek all day every day with the exception of Saturday morning, which would be given over to Challenge of the Super Friends, old Warner Bros. cartoons (though none with that cocky bastard Road Runner) and maybe some Scooby-Doo (pre-Scrappy vintage, natch).

But of course I didn't have my own TV station. (The FCC wouldn't grant me a broadcasting license. Like I said: Scalawags!) So I had to make due with the stations we had. All four of them. None of which ran Star Trek. Ever.

And you know what? I'm glad. For one thing, if I'd actually seen "The Way to Eden" or "The Paradise Syndrome" when I was 10, I would've instantly devoted my life to Star WARS, and years later The Phantom Menace would've sent me into therapy instead of merely making me grumpy. More importantly, I wouldn't have found other things to watch.

Because I couldn't just pull out a DVD of my favorite show, I watched The CBS Late Movie, which is how I discovered Kolchak: The Night Stalker and The Avengers (the quirky English spies, not the Marvel men in tights). Because I couldn't look up what I wanted on YouTube or Amazon Prime or Hulu, I watched the old black-and-white movies my dad loved -- and I grew to love them, too. Because we didn't have Netflix Instant Gratification, I was forced to make due with TV shows and movies that were actually 10 times better than what I thought I wanted to watch.

It's Netflix that got me thinking about all this, actually. Over the last year or so, I've seen a lot of online grousing about how limited the company's offerings for instant viewing are. To which I say this:

[Stands up slowly, totters forward a few steps, shakes fist, stamps cane]

WAH WAH WAH!!! CRY ME A RIVER, YOU BIG BABIES!!!

No, you won't find the latest Hollywood blockbusters in your Instant queue. But what you could find, if you had a drop of curiosity in your body, are some great films and TV shows you might never have tried if you could just watch Jack and freakin' Jill instead.

In the last few months, I've seen fun flicks I'd never heard of (Rope of Sand, No Name on the Bullet, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Bad Company, Pulp, Ulzana's Raid, It's in the Bag), fascinating science shows and documentaries I probably wouldn't have rented (How the Universe Works, How Does the Brain Work?, Being Elmo, Shut Up Little Man!, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, Cropsey, Reel Injun, Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project), funny comedies I was vaguely aware of but hadn't sampled (Father Ted, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, The Whitest Kids U' Know) and some mind-blowing crap (Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Birdemic: Shock and Terror).

Oh, and I've watched a few Star Trek episodes, too. Because Netflix offers every Star Trek show ever for instant viewing. Which means the dream of my youth has come true. And you know what?

Usually, I'd rather find something new.