The First Picture Show

I didn't get an Atari 2600 until two years after the 5200 came out. The only reason I finally threw out my Brother word processor and bought a PC was so I could play Star Trek: Judgement Rites. I was still a dial-up AOL subscriber after my parents switched to DSL, and I still wouldn't have a cell phone if my mom hadn't bought me one. And I haven't started Tweeting yet, either, but the day I do...? That's the day Twitter officially moves from Hot to Not.

Early adopting just isn't my thing. I'm the guy who was still looking for bargains on a nice surrey with the fringe on top when everyone else was whizzing around in their new Model Ts. Which is why it was February of this year before I finally got off my butt and bought a scanner...and why three months went by before I hooked the thing up.

But hooked up it was, as of last night. Whether I could get it to work was another matter entirely.

So when it came time for my maiden scan, what did I slap onto the...uhhhh...glass-covered scanning thingamajig? A picture of Big Red and Old Red, that's what! And I'm not talking about the cover of one of my books.

A few weeks back, Rich Prosch dropped by the site (follow the link and scroll down -- you'll see it) to ask if I had anyone in mind when I described the Amlingmeyer brothers. My answer was yes -- but it wasn't actors or acquaintances I was thinking of. It was a couple pictures I'd seen years before, photographs of obscure, forgotten men who just happened to fit my image of the guys to a T. And lo and behold, today I was able to find them again.

My friends, meet Big Red and Old Red Amlingmeyer. (Click the pic for an in-your-face close-up.) Apparently, these young gents were Wells Fargo guards, once upon a time. (That's why they're carrying enough artillery to blow away the entire Wild Bunch.) Now, the guy with the mustache doesn't quite have Old Red's face (more on that in a moment), and the slick-looking dandified dude is about 5% more handsome and 10% slimmer and trimmer than Big Red. But the two of them sitting there side by side? When I saw them, I knew they were a team -- one it'd be fun to write about or read about, either or. And since no one else was going to write about them, so far as I knew, that left it to me.

The more I got to know the Amlingmeyers, however, the more it became obvious that first picture didn't quite capture their essence. "Big Red" looked suitably smug, but where was his wink? And "Old Red" didn't have nearly enough...character, I guess you could call it.

This guy, on the other hand, has got character up the yingyang. Never mind that he's wearing a suit and tie, never mind that he actually looks kind of happy. Those elephant ears, that sharp nose, that forehead jutting up like the Rock of Gibraltar? That's Old Red Amlingmeyer. (Who the man really is, I have no idea. I simply saw his picture in a book and copied it.)

Of course, just because this is what Big Red and Old Red look like to me doesn't mean it's what they have to look like to you. Dashiell Hammett's Sam Spade had blond hair, but the rest of us picture Humphrey Bogart. Ian Fleming thought James Bond looked like Hoagy Carmichael, of all people, but as far as I'm concerned 007 will always be Sean Connery. Heck, I just read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and I don't know what Jane Austen had in mind (other than no zombies), but Darcy was Colin Firth to me even when he was decapitating "manky dreadfuls."

So hey -- if you picture Andy Warhol as Old Red and Magilla Gorilla as Big Red, I'm not going to tell you you're wrong. As long as anyone's picturing the guys at all, I'm happy....

Steve Hockensmith
May 4, 2009

P.S.: On second thought, I'm taking back the Andy Warhol part. Man, that's just plain creepy.

Comments

[Stella]

Hi!
I'm Stella, again! Sorry if I write you here in comments-space, but I don't know if there's another proper space.
I've finished today "Holmes on the range", and I want to tell you that it's mega!
Seriously: I can't wait to read the others!
I love the bond between Big Red and Old Red: I'm only child, and I love to read histories about brothers or sisters.
I also think that the mistery it's wonderful: i didn't expect an end like this!
Great job!

[Matthew Szewczyk]

Awwww, if you like that one Stella wait until you get to the Black Dove!

[Stella]

Yes!
I live in Italy, so I have to order "on the wrong track" and "The black dove" at the bookshop: it's difficult to find books in english (in italian they don't exist yet).
I think I'll have them in ten days!