Sax and Violence

Remember a month or so back when I was gassing on about the power of music? And how I ended by saying the new Big Red/Old Red novel I'm working on would be worthy (I hoped) of a sweeping, creepy, melodramatic score of the kind Bernard Herrmann used to churn out in his sleep?

Yeah? You do remember?

Well, forget it.

Forget the music from Vertigo. Forget the music from Citizen Kane. Forget the music from Psycho. Heck, you can even forget the minor stuff: The Day the Earth Stood Still and Twisted Nerve and The Ghost and Mrs. freakin' Muir.

The music that fits the book better so far? "Yakety Sax."

Not that the novel's jam-packed with chase scenes involving buxom blonds getting their tops ripped off by low-hanging branches. There's some tension and menace and mystery in there. Some darkness. Some grit.

It's not the storyline or even the content that's the problem at all, in fact. It's my collaborator.

Yes, I blame you, Big Red.

The guy just won't stop cracking wise and goofing around. I mean, here's a novel with my grimmest opening yet -- Big Red and Old Red are hung on page four! -- and somehow even that gets turned into a lark. All because my narrator can't get with the program and be lugubrious for a change. The man's irrepressible...and I want him repressed!

I've given up, though. When it comes to the voice of a Big Red/Old Red story, Big Red's the boss. And if he wants to sound flip and irreverent and, at times, like a total jackass, I can't stop him.

That Bernard Herrmann-worthy book? It'll just have to wait. Because as much as both Big Red and I might have denied it over the last few years, he and I write these "Holmes on the Range" things as a team. And it turns out we don't make sweet music together.

We make "Yakety Sax."

Steve Hockensmith
November 1, 2007

Comments

[Jennifer McKenzie]

LOL!!!!! That's Big Red. Wise cracking his way through the west despite flying heads and coffins.
Some characters just don't do dark. So, you're talking what--The Carpenters? Or more like circus music?
I'm sure Big Red figures you're stealing all the credit with the book signings and all, so this is just his way of staying on the top of the heap.
Good luck with that.

[Big Red]

Well, I don't know about "Yakety Sax." I did some "surfing" on that YouTube thingie and came up with a song that I think suits me better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8TQOzyCu8Q

Do I get dressed up in silk and spinach? No. Do I go around sporting liverwurst and camembert cheese? No. Do I have "undulating undies"? Hush your mouth!

I'm just not a big one for wallowing in misery. I've had plenty enough in my life without wearing it on my sleeve every danged day. Me, I'd much rather have silk and spinach there instead. Or at least something to smile about.

So sorry I can't get all "lugubrious" on you, Hockensmith. You want that, why not ask my brother to narrate the next book?

-Big Red

[Jennifer McKenzie]

Yes, but Big Red, do you wear Hudson Bay Rat? There may be some environmentalists after you for that.
I like you just the way you are, Big Red. (Shoot, now I have Billy Joel stuck in my head)

[Lee]

Ahhh, yakety sax. Isn't that the theme song for everyone's life?